only bad news

My dad died yesterday.

I'm doing ok. I feel sad, but at the same time, I can't feel too sad, because I was just so damned lucky to have him. I hit the fucking jackpot when it came to parents. I miss him, but at the same time, I feel this warm glow inside me. All those years of love and sweetness and making me laugh-- everything he gave to me is still in there. Love is real and goodness is real, and I still feel all his goodness in me, as solid and heavy as my own bones, and I hold it inside me and it is nowhere near as good as if he were here and I could talk to him... but it's still pretty damn good. I got 25 years with him-- how is that not a gift? It was given to me free, and the joy I had from it is more than enough to keep the sorrow down to a manageable level.

Anyways, I love you guys. Sorry that I've been so full of doom and gloom in my recent, uber-infrequent posts here. *grin*

yes I am alive

Major news points:

Since I last updated, I started dating Leesa, the hot girl from work. It was awesome. It was everything I'd ever wanted. I didn't want anyone else. Stopped hanging out with Raymond, hung out with Lou only platonically. Felt truly monogamous for the first time in my life. She moved in when my Fabulous Roomie moved out (May? June? I don't remember.) 'Round about July things started getting shitty. By August, she was getting really emotionally abusive and finally I told her to either treat me decent or get the hell out of my life. 2 weeks later, 3 days before my birthday, she physically assaulted me at work. I had to call the police to get her out of the house, and it sucked. Restraining order. Arrest. Suckage. Threatening voicemails. Craziness. Bullshit suicide attempts. Craziness. Finally it got to the point that I didn't feel safe leaving the house or being at work, so I left town. Went to Albuquerque, NM and Portland, OR. Came back for the court date. More suckage. Perjury galore. She said she never hit me. And that she'd been intending to tell me things were over, anyways. And that she never wanted to talk to me again. Haven't spoken to her since, despite her almost-weekly attempts to contact me. Still kinda fucked up over her. Not going to date anyone again for a long time, I think.

Got a kitten! Her name is Trilla, and she's a ninja. Back before shit went down, Leesa was out walking her dog on the morning of July 4th, and a homeless guy came out of the woods and gave her this tiny kitten, and she brought it home. I am grateful on a daily basis that Leesa does not care for scooping cat litter, or else she probably wouldn't have left Trilla with me when she left, and I would be very lonely.

My friend Aimie got pregnant and just had the baby last Friday. She sent me pics, and while normally I think all newborns look like kind-of like umeboshi, I was quite impressed. I think he looks a little bit like Jude Law, but perhaps it's too early to tell. I'm really, really happy for her.

I have taken up spinning. So far I have not produced anything magnificent, but I'm really enjoying it.

I have this weird, masochistic experiment going on to see if I can go all winter without turning my heat on. So far, it's working out ok, but it's not particularly enjoyable. I think I will only be really proud of myself if I actually go all winter-- if I only make it til January, I'll just feel stupid.
...But I'm hoping to move out of here by January, anyways, so I guess it's a moot point.

Oh! And I cut my hair. After the horribleness of the court date, I was having trouble sleeping, and one night I finally decided that I needed to go and get my hair cut really short, get a bunch of tattoos and crazy piercings, and somewhere along the way develop a badass butch attitude and flirt recklessly with girls in bars. So, if you know me at all, you know that I have a tendency to make very long lists of things I need to do and then by the end of the day, I have completed maybe 2 of those things. So far I have gotten my hair cut. Maybe in a year I'll have managed a tattoo. We'll see.

  • Current Music
    "Hide & Seek", Imogen Heap

never so much more than ever I was this day

(I am, apparently, in an e.e. cummings frame of mind.)

So... in the many months that I've been horribly neglecting LJ, what have I been doing? Lots of neglecting, mostly. I haven't hung out with my local friends Zach or Jason in a million years, and I feel kinda guilty about it. I have, however, been making friends with a bunch of people in the local knitting group that I now go to, and I gotta tell you, it feels so nice to have some female socialization from time to time.

Let's see... I also bought a car, back in early December... I don't think I wrote about that. It's a very secondhand Audi with all-wheel-drive, and I am very enchanted by it.

Umm... I still love my job at the yarn store. I still only work part time, and feel like I should be working full time, but, honestly, I don't think I have the time or the energy to do so. I don't know what I do with all my time, exactly, but apparently it's NOT sleeping enough.

Damnit, I'm so LAME! I have nothing to report! Highlights... highlights... I guess I've been doing a fair amount of socializing with family members in a more grown-up way, which is nice. In December, I went down to NYC to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (which I utterly failed, by the way-- I think probably I should've been taking the Level II test instead of the Level III test. Also, maybe I should've studied for more than just 2 weeks beforehand. *sheepish grin*), and stayed at my cousin Erica's place. She's married to a very sweet guy named David, and they have 2 kids. On that side of the family, I always had more contact with Erica's sister, Christine and Christine's husband and kids, so it was really awesome to really get to know Erica and David (who I previously had exchanged exactly 2 sentences with), and to play with their kids, who are both quirky and adorable. Also sometime in November, I went down to Philly to visit my beloved Aunt Carol. We went to the big Philadelphia craft show, which was just amazing. There was so much beautiful stuff, and it was all SO DAMN EXPENSIVE. I was inspired by so much. There was a crazy girl from Finland who made amazing felt hats, and a lady who made jewelry out of twists of paper and leather and other weird stuff, and it all ended up looking beautiful and organic and completely altered from the materials' original appearance that it seemed magical. There was a guy who just had rugs, just rugs! But they were all beautiful designs, and somehow he'd sheared the pile so that they were like... like frescos. With a little bit of three-dimensionality that just made them even more beautiful. I tried taking pictures, but it didn't convey the effect. There were a pair of super-gay weavers who I remembered coming into WEBS once. They were from P-town, and they were incredibly cute and friendly when they were buying yarn, so I was thrilled to see that their stuff was gorgeous. Jackets and shawls and all sortsa stuff. There were two people who worked in clay who I wanted to just kiss. One was a lady who threw pots and then carved away from them as much as she could, so that they were just... I dunno... like coral bones. Like rocks in the desert, worn down by wind and sand. Amazingly ethereal and beautiful. The other was a younger woman, closer to my age, and she made these beautiful, bizarre little sculptures that looked kinda like if a sea cucumber and a tiger lily had a torrential love affair. I wanted to buy one SO BADLY, but the tiniest, cheapest one cost a couple hundred, and I just couldn't justify it, especially since I didn't think I could get it home without at least one of its delicate little tentacles snapping off. There was a lady who made PURSES out of polymer clay, but they looked like WOOD. Crazy, no? But they were silly and wonderful and beautiful, and I found myself coveting one! CRAZY! There was one lady who I fell absolutely in love with who made paintings, only they weren't paintings. She was actually a weaver, and she would weave with different fibers, and then dye the weaving, and the different fibers would take the dye differently, and then she'd paint on it, and then she'd put shiny paper behind the fabric so you could see it glimmer in places.. I can't explain it, but the effect was like looking into a forest, all shadowy and layered. I seriously considered buying one of her pieces, but, again, super-expensive. Also, I have nowhere to put it. I decided I would wait until I had a place of my own, and then that would be my house-warming gift to myself. She was an absolute sweetheart, and seemed really pleased with my enthusiastic praise.
So that was awesome, but even if the craft show had sucked, just getting to spend time with my aunt was wonderful. We hung out, and talked, and went to breakfast together, and the farmer's market, and she made me collard greens, which I'd never before eaten, and I LOVED them. And we talked and talked and talked, about all sorts of things, from my love life, to what my mom was like as a child, to techniques on getting strangers to talk about themselves, to her problems with a new employee when a google search of him revealed that he used to be a fetish photographer. Sigh. Man, I totally can't wait til I have time to go see her again.
More recently, in January, I got to hang out with my mom's OTHER sister, my Aunt Lisa, who was in Boston on business. She and I have never been as close as Carol and I (partially just 'cuz she lives further away, but also just because she has a very blunt, confident personality, and I've always been terrified of her), so it was both interesting and enjoyable to go to dinner with her.

In love life news (because I KNOW you give a damn!), Raymond and I have been seeing a lot more of each other, and things just keep getting better and better. I feel like we're really comfortable with one another now, and yet still in the honeymoon phase where we're still really excited about everything. If I had time to write a filtered entry, I would go into detail about how amazing the sex is. But instead I will merely sit here with a happy little smile on my face for a few minutes. *sighhhhhh*

Ok, so that's the good. The iffy is my relationship with Lou. Back in January, we had a big fight, and since then things just haven't quite been the same. The fight was about money, and even though Lou eventually conceded that maybe I was right, and that buying Xbox games instead of paying his phone bill wasn't in his best financial interests, still, a lot of things were done and said during the fight that just made me feel... tired. I felt like I'd lost a lot of respect for him, and like I just didn't want to bother anymore. I still tried to see him at least once a week, but we mostly just hung out and watched TV while I tried not to be snappish and grouchy. I definitely saw Raymond a bit more often, and enjoyed myself more with him. Last night, Lou and I finally hashed it out, and I think things are on the mend... but for the right now, I definitely feel like the hierarchy of relationships has changed. It used to be that I thought of Lou as the constant, the solid foundation, the home to which I would return, my main papi... and now I definitely feel more devotion towards Raymond in that way. I dunno... it's weird, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if this is allowed. Can Lou stand to not be the Alpha in my life? Does it make me a fickle whore to feel this way? I'm conflicted about it, and confused. I don't know if it means that Lou's time is coming to an end, or if it's just one more phase that our relationship is going through, with many more to come in the future. Sigh. Anyways, I'm sure this is getting boring, me wallowing in my drama... but hey, what else is LJ for?

Now for the not-yet-sure: On Friday, Leesa at work revealed to me the following: 1) she's attracted to me, and has been from the moment she first saw me (YAY!). 2) she has a girlfriend, and has had one for the past 2 years (HUH? This seems to directly contradict what Malea said about her, which makes me REALLY want to sit down and get the facts from both of them). 3) They have an open relationship (umm... YAY again! Right?) 4) She's not looking to get into another relationship (um... FUCK! So why the hell'd she tell me she liked me, then? Just to torture me? ...actually, I could kinda get into that-- being tortured by hot women is apparently a hobby of mine... maybe it's just that they can tell that I like it? Hmmm... must work on that...). So yeah. I don't even know what to say about this. Except that I went to the company belated-christmas-bowling-party on Sunday with Raymond, and we got a good eyeful of her girlfriend, and it was generally agreed that even if we had to walk barefoot over hot shards of glass and then through a pool full of raw sewage and rattlesnakes, we would SO Hit That. I mean, she was Hot-with-a-capital-slap-in-the-face-of-pure-hotness. Good LORD have mercy. So yeah. First thing I need to do when I go to work tomorrow morning is pull Leesa aside and tell her, "Look. Your girlfriend is AMAZING. ...Uh... I mean.... we need to talk."

In other not-yet-sure news is Phil, the cute snowboarder in Burlington. Although, actually, tonight he's in Stratton, which is an oh-so-painfully-tempting hour-or-so away. I have told him repeatedly that I will gladly drive the hour-or-so to see him and have dinner with him, but so far he has not invited me up. His car died earlier tonight, and I also told him that I will gladly drive him back to Burlington if need be, and he seemed remotely interested. In our various communications (phone, texting, and emails), I have managed to pry out of him that he is definitely interested in a possible sexuo-romantic involvement with me, and is cool with (though not necessarily enthused by) the whole non-monogamous thing. So far he doesn't seem like a jerk, although I readily admit that I don't know him that well yet. If I had to write a profile of him in the back of a comic book in which he was a character (a la Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: Director's Cut), it would read:

Likes: running, snowboarding, cats, snakes, scorpions, conspiracy theories, curly hair, freckles, salmon, fresh produce, soy milk with cherry-vanilla granola, Spanish food, riding motorcycles at dangerously high speeds, reggae, working as a nurse in an old people's home, taking naked pictures of himself with his phone (not that he's sent me any, mind you-- but I'm workin' on it. ;-)

Dislikes: dogs, stupid girls, drunk girls who try to kiss him (which apparently happens frequently while he is doing the next thing on the list), working as a bouncer at a club, running into trees while snowboarding, driving without a valid license, having to choose between snowboarding all day and going to work so that he can make rent that month, when his bedroom is messy, George Bush.

I mean, granted, that's a pretty good start as far as our compatibility goes... but it still leaves a lot of territory as-yet-unexplored. There's still plenty of room in there for him to turn out to be a jerk. Sigh. I hope he's not. I am so very, very into him. *such a dweeb*

Yikes, it's late, and I have to get up pretty early tomorrow morning. I'm possibly meeting Aimie for tea, and I also have to get my wheels aligned at 8. Sigh... and then work. And after work, I might meet Lou for Valentine's Day dinner, if the snowstorm doesn't prevent it. And after that, knitting group. And I had plans to get up early and bake linzertorte cookies for Valentine's Day for my coworkers, but I'm not so sure it's going to happen now. *LAZY and LAME!*

*hugs to all*
  • Current Music
    Damien Marley, "And Be Loved"

Long time no update

Exciting news in the dating world:

-There's this girl who comes to the yarn shop a lot and she totally asked me out. Granted, she has a husband, and he's not yet sure how he feels about us dating, but STILL!!!! A girl likes me! Joy! (she's really hot. and she knits. worst case scenario, we become really good friends with lots of flirting. There are certainly worse fates. *grin*)

-Flush with my newfound confidence from the OMG-a-girl-actually-likes-me, I went up this total stranger in the ski lodge on Monday (for those not-in-the-know, I'm up at Smuggler's Notch with my family this week, for my annual bit of snowboarding), and I totally just gave him my number and told him to call me if he wanted someone to go snowboarding with later in the week. (Backstory: I was driving towards the lodge parking lot 'cuz I was meeting my parents for lunch there. I saw him on the side of the road, lugging his snowboard, walking towards the lodge. We made eyecontact, and when I checked my rearview mirror, I saw him turn around to watch me pass. He was REALLY cute, so I parked as quick as I could and then practically ran to the lodge to see if he was there. I saw him upstairs, right where I was also meeting my parents, and as he passed by us, I made eye contact again, and he said "hi" to me, so once my parents and I were settled, I sneaked away to find where he was sitting and accost him with my number.) Anyways, I was so damn proud of myself for being so cool and bold and whatnot, that I almost couldn't even care if he actually called or not. But then he DID! And we went snowboarding all day today, and it was AWESOME! Mind you, I had to abandon JJ (who came up to snowboard with me for a couple days) for the morning, but I can't even feel too bad about it, because I am just all atwitter about this guy. His name is Phil, he's originally from Brooklyn (*swoon!*), and he's HOT. He laughs at all my dorky jokes, and he's really laid-back and doesn't think I'm a loser for staying at home with a book (or knitting) most nights, because apparently he does that a lot, too. He has a cat, and he cooks, and he has a simply spectacular head of dreads. He's also a really phenomenal snowboarder, so I felt guilty about tagging along with him, but I think he must actually enjoy my company or something, because he said I could snowboard with him again tomorrow. Whee! Ok, I have to go to bed now. I will try to update more regularly from now on, but my computer is currently broken (I'm borrowing my dad's laptop right now), so who knows how that'll work.

Shout-outs to my darling Lou, who I'm sorry I haven't called all week. I love you! *nuzzle*
  • Current Mood

la la la it's my day off

Been working like a dog lately. All my coworkers seem to have gone missing. Much tiredness, but at least I still love my job.

This weekend Raymond took me up to NH and we went dancing and slept on the floor in the basement because the renovations are still going on upstairs. My back is still cranky from that.

My parents' birthdays are on the 15th and 16th of October, respectively, and for my mom, I made her a mix CD with plenty of reggae on it (because she loves reggae, oddly enough), and also made her an apple cake (recipe courtesy of the wonderful creachadair). For my dad's birthday I made sushi, with extensive help from both Raymond and mom, because I am a mess in the kitchen, and if I have to keep track of more than 2 things at once, well, things get burnt. In this case, it was only butter, thank goodness, but that was only because mom has a much better sense of smell than I do.

I finally finished JJ's hat, and of course forgot to take pictures of him wearing it, because I'm an idiot and bad, bad LJ knitting community member. Oh well. Maybe I'll ask him to take pictures himself and send them to me. I have no idea whether he actually likes it or not. He claimed it was warm, which is good, I guess.

As I may have mentioned, I used to work at Florentina's, which is home to some of the best pizza and pitas in Western Mass. I went there this summer and the owner and I got to catching up, and he mentioned that he owned Fire Cuisine, which is this trendy little place across the street from Moshi Moshi (which I also love). I promised him I'd check it out, and Friday night after another long, crazy day at work, I was feeling way too exhausted and stressed to cook for myself, so I decided I'd keep my promise. I made friends with a cute waiter named Dwo, who had long dreadlocks and a slight accent and teased me about putting so much milk and sugar in my tea. I went back the next night with Raymond, and then again last night by myself again. The cooking isn't as good as at Florentina's, but the tea is excellent, and the atmosphere is wonderful. I like sitting up near the window and looking out on the street, drinking my tea and knitting. I think it will definitely become my new late-night hangout. Last night, Dwo wasn't there (to my disappointment), but the waiter I did get was very cool, and by the end of the night I'd charmed a promise of a mix CD out of him, so I considered the excursion a success.

Tonight I go to see the Suicide Girls with kittyarrr! I am super-excited.

In other hot-girl-news, I have taken to flirting with Leesa, my cute shaven-headed coworker. I complimented the hat she was wearing one day, and she told me she'd had it for forever, and showed me the huge hole in the top. I told her maybe she should sew it closed, and she kinda scoffed and said she didn't sew. I shook my head at her and told her that not sewing was maybe excessively butch, and somehow by the end of it she'd talked me into mending it for her. So now I think we're friends. Also, did I mention that she's cute?
Malea (now with the correct spelling!) is on vacation, and I miss her desperately. Sigh. Why must she be so unbearably hot?

I haven't had the time or energy to clean my room in many weeks, now, and it's starting to smell funky. Sigh. I hate cleaning my room.

To do today:

-bike to Amherst to pick up my kick-ass boots and leather jacket from the cobbler (and this time I will not go so late that I end up having to bike home in the dark like LAST Tuesday. Because the Norwottuck Bike Trail is very dark and scary and deserted at night. And I almost got sprayed by a skunk. Which isn't nearly as bad as getting, say, raped and murdered because you're stupid, stubborn idiot with a headlamp who's like "Sunlight? Psh! I don't need no stinking SUNLIGHT to bike home!" ...but it would still suck. Anyways, where was I?)
-sit and drink coffee and knit in the Esselon Cafe
-hit the post office to mail off my latest book*
-stop by work to try to arrange some time off for the first weekend in Nov. so I can visit my aunt in Philly
-did I mention SUICIDE GIRLS??? *excitement*
-sigh. clean my room, I guess. *pout*
-also, I suppose some showering and getting dressed and eating breakfast is in order...

*Sorry Maria, both for not responding to your (*cough*extremely snarky*cough*) voicemail, and also for the fact that you won't be getting your books anytime soon-- I mailed them and everything, but the post office returned them to me last Thursday, with a little note saying "AWK", which is either the noise that the post-person made when trying to lift the box, or else an abbreviation for "awkward". I do not know. Either way, I guess I'll have to repackage them and send them in little bursts. Does anyone know if the post office will refund your money if they end up not delivering a package?


  • Current Music
    "Boner", Grand National

all's well that ends well

Today was a long, trying day at work (tons of customers who were affronted that we wouldn't accept their returns, despite their blatent violations of the return policy), and I was too exhausted to do more than kick off my shoes when I got home. But after some lazing in bed with a book, hunger finally won out and I put my shoes back on and took my book out for a panini at Andiamo's up on Main St. (I'd never been there before, but I heard one of their ads on the radio, and it mentioned that it had panini and gelato, and right then and there I swore that I would visit it before the week was out.) It was delicious. While I was walking there, a kinda sketchy guy with scruffy-blond-white-boy-dreads commented on the way I was "strutting", and I couldn't help but grin at him because, I'll be honest, I was still in my nice work clothes, I'd thrown on my hot new jacket... and I was wearing my boots, which always make me kinda swagger anyways... so yeah, I was kinda strutting a bit. Or a lot. *sheepish grin*

Anyways, after eating, I set back out for home, and just down the street a little ways (in front of the church where people always hang out) was this crazy impromptu outdoor music-y gathering thing with three guys with guitars and one hot girl with a huge hoop (like a hula hoop. Only way, way cooler.  ame_chan knows what I mean, I'm sure.) The music was a kinda mellow reggae, and I sat down on the edge of the grass and pulled out my book and just listened for a bit, and it was awesome. And then this pretty white moth flew down in front of me. I really love moths, so I put my hand down and let it crawl onto my thumb. And then I breathed on it, soft and warm, the way you breathe on eyeglasses, because it was kinda cool out, and I know that both moths and butterflies like to be breathed on like that when it's cold (don't ask how I know this-- all I have to say is that it involves many summer nights as an insomniac angsty teen spent sitting out in the garden.) Anyways, it seemed to really like that, because it just chilled on my hand for the whole time I was sitting listening to the music, which was 20-30 minutes, I'm sure. Sometime in there, the previously-mentioned slightly sketchy guy came by on a bike, and stopped in front of me and introduced himself. Since I tend to freeze up whenever someone shows even the remotest interest in me, it was pretty easy for me to do the distant-but-friendly thing, which I felt surprisingly un-guilty about. I think the fact that he was smoking helped with that. *grin* After Eli, I resolved to quit smokers. Also, I had no attraction to him whatsoever. So that helped. Anyways, he commented on my befriending of the moth, which I admit I was kinda proud of. After he left, the moth left my hand and fluttered up to sit half on my cheek, half on the earpiece of my glasses. I was very, very pleased. I REALLY like moths.

The concerty thing started disintegrating into a sorta jam session, and my butt was getting damp from sitting on the grass, so I got up and started home, trying to keep my strut slow enough (usually I walk really fast) so that I wouldn't blow the moth off. Apparently I succeeded, because a few minutes later when I ran into my hot co-worker Melea (who I'd just been thinking about, of course! because I'm a crushed-out loser like that) and her two friends down on Pleasant St., her friend (whose name I of course can't remember) whipped out his camera and took a picture of me. I can't tell if Melea was freaked out or impressed by my moth-taming skillz, but I managed at least to reassure her that it was alive and riding on me willingly. I hope she was impressed. Sigh. I want her SO BAD. Anyways, where was I? I don't know. I made it home with the moth still chillin', and I tried to take a picture of it. Apparently the flash agitated it, though, because then it fluttered off onto my bed. I picked it up with a piece of paper and tried to feed it some honey water, but it doesn't seem interested. It was chilling on my hand for a bit, but it didn't like it when I was typing, and fluttered off to somewhere behind my moniter. I'll find it in a bit.

Many pictures will follow, because I'm a dork like that.
...I just realized while cropping pics that OMG I was wearing my favorite moth shirt tonight! No wonder the moth liked me! *such a dork*

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  • Current Music
    Radio 4, "Dismiss the Sound"

*bad bad girl*

Alright, so I'm starting to be embarrassed by how long it's been since I've posted. Especially because it's gotten to the point that I start talking in my head about stuff that I'm doing, prepping myself for the LJ post that I know I will never write.

So that's no good.

So here's my little update.

Health: generally good. I am not getting quite enough sleep, but almost. My skin is, as always, freakin' out, but c'est la vie. I have been slacking on the exercise front, but I have a work-out date with Lou this morning, and the weather is still nice enough for me to bike to the Esselon Cafe on my days off, so that's all good.

Job: I still love my new job. It exhausts me, and I've been there a month, but am still asking people all sorts of stupid n00b questions, but they don't seem to mind. Hopefully this is because they find me charming, and not because they've just accepted that I'm a moron. There was a big company picnic thing this past Sunday, and I got to run the 3-legged race with my main coworker crush, Melea. I cannot even begin to express how exciting that was. Alas, we didn't win, but I think we came in second. I don't know. I was distracted. My other main coworker crush, Pete, is married, but I got to meet his wife, and I adored her (because she is 1) hot, 2) funny, and 3) told me I was really cool for making sushi to bring to the picnic), and so it's ok that he's married, because at least he's well taken care of.

Japanese: for those of you not in the know, I'm planning on taking the Japanese Language Proficiency Test in December. Have I studied at all in the past month? Unless you count the eavesdropping I did on the cute Japanese couple while I was nursing a latte at Haymarket... um... no. I suck.

Romance: I am the luckiest girl alive. I don't really know what else to say. I have not one, but two (two! ah-ah-ah!) requited love situations. Lou and I are coming up on 1 year (which is funny, because he still says to his friends things like, "Yeah, Megan and I have only been going out for a couple months, but it feels like forever!" Ha! Joke's on you, Lou! *grin*) Raymond says he loves me, and although I have huge insecurity issues and go through the 'There's no way he could possibly be really interested in me!' panic on a regular basis, so far so good. So yeah. Neither relationship is perfect (Lou and I in particular had a nasty fight about a week ago), but things are definitely 1000 times better on the love front than they were a year ago. *me gusta mucho*

Knitting: I have finally made progress on JJ's hat (which I promised him last winter, of course)! I rule! It's about halfway finished, and I'm holding off on finishing it because I want to get him to try it on and pick out a cable pattern for the brim. But I am awesome! He might even get it before it starts to snow!
I am also making quick progress on a scarf for Lou (which I also promised him last winter). The tabi socks I made for him are languishing in my bag, however-- all I need to do is embroider a little bit more of the kanji on them, but I just can't seem to find the wherewithall to do it. I am lame.

My book-culling project: despite my efforts (I even took a bunch of old textbooks to the Smith bookstore and got --whee!-- totally ripped off to the tune of $30 dollars for 10-15 books, one of which was a big, thick Chinese textbook STILL IN THE SHRINKWRAP that I guarantee cost me more than $70 new-- yes, I know I probably should've half.commed 'em, but I just couldn't bear the thought of having them lie around anymore while I waited for them to sell), I still have way too many books. I don't really even have time to put them all up on, and even if I do, I don't think I have much that people want. It's very sad. I don't want to just throw them away. If you asked for books from me and still haven't gotten them, be patient-- I know I still have at least one box o' books sitting on my bedroom floor waiting for me to have time and energy to go to take it to the post office.

Horticulture: All the plants on my windowsill are doing fine (1- the awesome, incredibly resiliant ivy I got at a yard sale back when I was dating Eli and have almost killed, like, 40 bajillion times now; 2 & 3- the two succulents I got at the Smith plant sale a few years back, one of which looks like short, fat grass, the other of which is luna-moth-colored and has big, fat lobes growing out of its central stem; and the most recent addition, the tiny red rose plant that Lou got me out of the blue one day. It bloomed a few weeks back, and they smelled AWESOME and lasted for a really long time. I am very happy that I haven't killed it yet, because of the 4 of them, it needs the most regular watering.) The amaryllis downstairs, however, has one big leaf that is slowly turning yellow, and since it's not like it has more than 4 leaves at a time, I am a bit worried about it. I can't tell if I'm watering it too much or too little, though. I'm positive it doesn't need more sun, though. Sigh. I am such a bad plant-lover.

In other news: I cannot for the life of me get my computer to play the subtitles when I try to watch DVDs. I've done everything you're supposed to do (turned them on in the DVD's subtitle menu screen, used the DVD player program's settings to turn them on, fiddled with the security settings even...) but no go. Any advice?

Love you all!
  • Current Music
    "Decembers of Love", Imogen Heap

omg books!

Just so you guys understand the severity of the situation here...

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For those of you who haven't yet checked out my mad phat book giveaway, please take a look here:


Sorry I haven't updated in forever-- I've been busy because I have an awesome new job! Yay! I now work at the ultimate yarn mecca: WEBS. ( for those not in the know. *grin*)

I love it to bits. It's the best job in all the world.

Anyways, why I'm REALLY posting is because I'm trying to clear out a hell of a lot of books from my life, and I've tried to make a pile of the ones that I don't want... but that some of you might. So here's a handful of them (I will update with more later, so keep an eye out), comment to claim them, first come first serve (or, you know, feel free to squabble amongst yourselves if you like). And of course, if you live far away, I don't mind paying the shipping costs, because really, I just want them to find a good home.

Love to you all!


BOOKS! Collapse )


Well, sorry again for the lack of posting. I won't go into an exhaustive update right now, because I have too many chores left to do (mostly pounds and pounds of laundry, general tidying, and lots of grocery shopping-- if it rains, I might end up having to enlist Raymond and his car for this last bit...)

In recent history, though, I've been sick (not too bad-- head cold with possibly minor ear infection that's now completely gone), and also biked to Amherst one day (last Saturday) to hang out with Jason a bit, which was awesome. Also, I went to Connecticon with Lou on Sunday, and for the occasion I knit him a pair of tabi socks (the split-toe kind you wear with geta) in 3 days. But then I bound-off wrong, so he couldn't get them over his feet. I remedied this the other night, though, and when he tried them on again yesterday, they fit perfectly. They're enormous, as one might expect from someone with size 13 feet, and I'm very, very pleased with them.

Anyways, today is shaping up to be an awesome day, despite the chores. I got not one but TWO awesome things in the mail today:

-a postcard from Maria, who's in Tunis, which utterly warmed my heart (I love you, Maria!)
-a mix-CD care package from my darlings on the West Coast, i_am_lono and ame_chan, which I am currently listening to, and LOVING! I love you guys SO SO SO SO SOOOOO MUCH!!! *huge hugs to both of them*

I cannot think of anything that makes me feel more loved than receiving things in the mail. I will endeavor to mail my loved ones more things.

In other great news, I applied on Monday to my beloved local yarn shop, WEBS. Early this morning, I discovered that they emailed me back to ask for an interview! I am sooo psyched! Employee discount, here I come!

In further quite-good news, tonight, Lou, Raymond, my fabulous roommate, and I are all going to go to see Pirates of the Caribbean together. It will be a very unprecedented get-together, and I am crossing my fingers that it will all go amiably. Raymond's interactions with the other people in my life has been fairly minimal so far, and his conversational style with people he doesn't know well is one that could best be described as "a bit mollusk-y" (as in: it often seems that it's easier to pry open an oyster than it is to pry more than 3 words out of him.) I definitely still like him (though I am definitely out of the NRE/honeymoon phase), but it does frustrate me sometimes. *shrug* In any case, I'm really hoping that with the three of us working together to get him to talk, he'll crack and finally display in public all the charm and wit that he shows when he and I are alone.

Either way, I'm looking forward to the movie. I don't care how crappy it might end up being-- there will be Johnny Depp goodness, and that's all that matters to me. *grin*

Anyways, time to get back to work. Or rather, TO work, since up until now, my productivity has been limited to:
-getting out of bed
-throwing on something clothing-like
-making myself a very late breakfast of ramen-with-egg

Love you all!